Do you Long for a Safe, Equal, Playful & Passionate Relationship?
Do you recognize any of these?
You've started taking your relationship for granted and feel less attracted to your partner; you miss intimacy, sex feels like an obligation
ou find it hard to talk about your feelings or express your opinion
You get angry quickly and easily argue over the silliest things — and you don't understand why
You've lost each other in the daily chaos of work and family and can't seem to get back the loving connection you once had
We certainly did. And there were a few more things we weren't happy about. It was five to midnight, and it was high time to take our relationship seriously.
Couples Therapy, Our Own Experience
To rediscover our love for each other, we also went into relationship therapy. We both wanted to get the best out of life, but we were stuck. Chris found it quite daunting to ask for help, because then he couldn't avoid it anymore and had to show up fully. Joan had been struggling with the relationship longer and was ready to work on it.
Through relationship therapy, we gained insight into how we were treating each other, which blind spots and patterns were preventing us from loving one another. We both felt acknowledged in our struggle and began to appreciate each other's differences again. We reflected on what we wanted from our relationship and learned how to express our needs and desires honestly — without blaming each other or slipping into accusations. This created space, and our love blossomed again.
Do You Also Long for…
A fresh, new start with your partner
Being supported and challenged
Communicating more deeply, where feelings are respected
Being able to be yourself and feeling that you matter
The passion coming alive again?
If you also want to breathe new life into your relationship — or take it to the next level — consider relationship therapy. We so often hear couples say they wish they'd done it 10 years earlier. Don't sell yourself short.
Results
Our deepest desire is to restore connection — both between you and within yourself. That means:
Learning to recognise and respect your own and each other's feelings
Taking desires and needs seriously, and learning to stand up for them
Taking responsibility for your own part in the relationship
Discussing issues honestly, openly and sincerely — and finding solutions together that truly satisfy both of you
When the fog lifts from your relationship, you'll regain trust and joy — in life and in each other. It's not just your romantic relationship that gets a new lease on life, but all your relationships: with colleagues, family, and your household. A great deal can be gained in just a few sessions.
Sometimes it's not possible to get love flowing again. Too much has happened, or too much time has passed. Your heart stays closed. In those cases, the sessions can help you both decide together, in a loving and mature way, what the next step might be — perhaps accepting what you have, or choosing to part ways.
Chris & Joan — Heel Gewoon
This tagline was once coined by our friends for our wedding celebration. "Heel Gewoon": just like ordinairy people. It's still very fitting — because just like you, we've had our share of setbacks and challenges in our relationship. Illness, job loss, career changes, raising our children, a shifting division of roles at home made it far from easy to keep loving each other.
We came through those difficult times too, and now experience our relationship as stronger than ever. We want to use that experience and knowledge, with all our heart, to help your relationship flourish as well.
We are both proficient in providing therapy in English.
What Couples Say
My husband didn't want to come. During the first session he sat reluctantly on the couch — he found it quite nerve-wracking. By the second session he was much more relaxed.
Later he surprised me with a drawing of the four things he valued most in our relationship! I truly never would have expected that. Things are so much better now… we're even expecting our second child."
“We can now see how things can be different."
"In the relationship I sometimes found it difficult to say what I truly felt or thought. With our busy jobs and family life, we'd actually drifted apart.
I missed the connection we used to have! He was on his phone more than he was really present with me. In the sessions we learned to understand how our communication patterns work. It helped us have better and deeper contact with each other. They saw things we couldn't see ourselves. We're so grateful for that!"
We Can Help With:
Creating sound and loving patterns
Every relationship has its patterns. Perhaps you've been irritated for a while by your partner's passivity. It causes you stress — you feel like you're carrying everything and need someone to take initiative. Your partner has their own struggles and feels pressured. Instead of talking about it, they withdraw. Both of you feel misunderstood and alone.
How do you break out of this negative pattern? We help you gain insight into the patterns that create distance, and explore together which patterns bring you closer. We also act as a kind of "love interpreter" — giving words to what you actually feel and want but cannot or dare not express to each other, and facilitating the conversation that really needs to happen.
With acknowledgement of the other, responsibility for each person's part, and the power of vulnerability, trust gets another chance.
Growing in Your Relationship
Sometimes couples aren't getting enough fulfilment from their relationship and are looking for more vitality, playfulness, and adventure. You sense there's more — in yourselves and in each other. You want to take your relationship from good to great.
Maybe you invest a lot of time in your family or work and do many things separately — but you miss the feeling from before: of being in love, of being a couple together. You've gotten stuck in certain habits and patterns and don't know how to step out of them.
Maybe you're not quite feeling yourself either?
Missing a sense of purpose, vitality, and enjoyment of life?
Ready to take a few more risks?
We love to explore together which patterns around communication, intimacy, and sexuality are holding you back from having the extraordinary relationship you deserve.
Immediate Help in a Crisis
If you've just discovered that your partner has been unfaithful, or they confess to an affair, your world collapses and everything feels uncertain. You don't know whether to continue, or how you could ever trust again. Yet many relationships are able to make a new beginning — when both partners are willing to work through it using the proven S.A.M.E.N. model by Ferdinand Bijzet.
S.A.M.E.N. stands for five phases that couples typically need to go through to rebuild trust: Pause, Step back, Empathise, Evaluate, and New chance / Aftermath. The goal is to walk through this difficult time together, step by step, and work toward healing your relationship.
A Loving Goodbye
If you do decide to part ways, it's valuable to do so in a compassionate and mature manner. If you need support in processing this loss — in expressing your painful emotions — we can guide you through that, both individually and together as a couple.
“What would it feel like to be loved again?”
Our Approach to Relationship Therapy
1. Questionnaire — Around 10 questions to help you start the process and give us the background we need to work effectively.
2. Intake — Based on your answers, we determine together during the intake session which are the most important focus areas for the therapy.
3. Follow-up sessions — We work on these focus points. We invite partners to discuss a topic they're struggling with together. Our role is to make the "unhelpful" pattern visible and help couples replace it with "helpful" ones that support connection.
When partners are struggling to express themselves to each other, we step in as "love interpreters" — giving voice to what they actually mean. We also look at what the most loving response is in any given situation: what's needed? What's missing? And we bring that in.
Sometimes unresolved issues from the past keep resurfacing. It's important to help couples forgive each other — to revisit these moments, feel them fully, and let them go — to heal the emotional wound they left behind.
We are both experientially and academically trained in various relationship therapy methods. We use Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), Systemic Therapy, Gestalt Therapy, and work with Love Energy as developed by Piet Weisfelt. We also believe that relationship therapy can be enjoyable — it doesn't have to be heavy and complicated all the time.
The Relationship Document
In the busyness of daily life, old habits can easily creep back. We recommend capturing the key points in a Relationship Document — where you can record exercises and tools, how to handle specific situations, and where your needs lie. It's a shared document where you can also add new topics and track your progress.
How would it be If Your Relationship Looked Like This?
Safety
Your relationship is a safe place where you can be yourself and express what you think and feel. By seeing your relationship as a place of growth — and challenging each other within it — you bring out the best in each other.
Spontaneity
There's room for spontaneous ideas, challenge, and playfulness. You feel alive again. You have energy for life and enjoy it — together.
Intimacy
Intimacy doesn't begin in the bedroom; it grows through involvement, genuine attention, and emotional connection. You feel attractive again and desire each other.
Client Experiences
"We came to Chris & Joan because I had fallen for someone else, and I knew something wasn't right, but I didn't want to give up. Through the sessions it quickly became clear that the attraction had been fuelled by a lack of attention from my husband, who was constantly absorbed in his business, and by years of self-sacrifice for our family. I felt trapped and lacked a sense of purpose. I experienced them as a kind of 'love interpreter' — they could name what we didn't know, feel, or could only express through arguments. Now we're truly a couple again. So happy with those five sessions! We should have done this much sooner."
"My wife thought I should see a therapist because I was experiencing depressive feelings. Chris suggested we try relationship therapy, as he thought my low mood was more connected to something missing in the relationship. We went together and discussed several things we hadn't been able to resolve on our own — like our lack of intimacy and my sometimes sharp reaction patterns. I discovered this was connected to my family of origin, and also came to understand my wife's tendency to go her own way — and my inability to express that I missed her. Now we're much more aligned, and we've learned skills we continue to use."
“The quality of your relationship determines the quality of your life.”
Frequently Asked Questions
Do you have a waiting list?
Generally, one of us is available within two weeks. We also work evenings and weekends.
Do you work together or separately?
Normally we work individually. Sometimes couples prefer the dynamic and added recognition of having us both present.
Does relationship therapy actually work?
Absolutely. One important condition is that both partners have some degree of curiosity — towards each other, themselves, and new ways of connecting. We aim to get love flowing again, but sometimes expectations need to be adjusted, or it turns out that parting ways is the better path.
My partner doesn't want to come. What now?
That happens sometimes. Often they're less used to talking about their feelings and find relationship therapy extra daunting. We offer a free, no-obligation introductory conversation of 30 minutes — online, by phone, or in person. Afterwards you can both decide whether you'd like to continue.
Got a question?
Call us on +31 6-14942084, or get in contact through the form down below!